So Paramore came out with a new single Now. And Fall Out Boy is apparently not dead and with a new single titled, My Songs Know What …and something or another, it keeps going on a while. Seriously, FOB, long song titles ain’t cool, just like you.

Now. Catchy beat. Boring lyrics.

My Songs Know How To Stick A Dick Up My Ass. Decent beat. Meh everything else. Seems like a more dancy version of what they were doing last album. I guess it’s cool they’re back?

Oh, and Silverstein has a new album. I listened to it and didn’t even realize I was listening to something new. They’ll never live up to Discovering the Waterfront.

Adam busts in through the door, “I’m fucking back!”

The imaginary people in the room look around at one another, confused.

Thinking surely, fucking surely they didn’t hear him, he repeats himself: “I’m fucking back!”

He’s panting now. The adrenaline of fucking pure awesome throbbing through his veins. Into his feet and shit, man. It’s wild.

After some silence, one says: “You were gone?”

If Adam were a balloon he would be deflated. FFffffffffzz zzz zz… zzz.

“No. No, I guess I wasn’t,” Adam manages to say despite the growing lump in his throat. The tears welling up in his eyes make it difficult to find the door and leave.

I

AM

FUCKING

BACK

Does anyone not realize that the iphone upgraded itself to technology that was already out  when the first iphone came out? So the new iphone 2.0 has GPS and 3G, it isnt new to the cellphone world. AT&T’s 3g isnt even faster then sprint’s or verizon’s EVDO so its not anything spectacular. Basically the first iphone should have never been released and this one should have taken its place. good thing its much more affordable than the first iphone. 199 for 8gb and 299 for 16gb.

I will review two bands and a solo artist.

1. the Matches:

This group of four recently (relatively) released their new Album, entitled: A Band In Hope. It sounds like ‘Abandon hope’ if you say it outloud to yourself. The first song is strange. However, the second song, “Their City”, is deserving of four OMG’s as it is good. As is “Clouds Crash”. For these alone I listen to it. Fortunately, there are more.

Rating: Seven out of Fourteen OMG’s, and one LOL. If you comprehend the english language you will find some lyrics to be amusing in regards to choice of word. Intentional or not, I can not say.

2. Babyshambles:

The four people consisting of Babyshambles recently (October 2007) released an Album, entitled: “Shotter’s Nation”. Many of the songs are well received by the ears. Some parts may be strange and lacking in melody, but for the most part, a very mellow and smooth musical album. All songs go with one another and are better for it. A very well crafted album, songs aside.

Rating: Nine out of Twelve OMG’s, although I will not find myself listening to it exclusively for very long.

3. Yelle:

French female who sort of sings. One of her songs was featured on HBO’s show Entourage whilst the troupe was traipsing through their adventures at Cannes Film Festival. Her first hit song was making fun of some french dude’s dick. (Song is “Je Veux Te Voir”). “Ce Jeu” is a joyous infusion of spoken-word and techno-beat (song).

Rating: Four out of Twelve OMG’s.

It’s bad that their first song they have to devote to an apology to the fans for sucking so much. Really? Do you just have no confidence in yourself? I mean, I know you’re supposed to be all ’emo’ and all. Read generic mainstream pop, and not pop punk like all this MTV would have you believe, because that’s actually good, e.g. Ramones. They’re just like the generic Boys Like Girls or All Time Low. You know, repetition and high-pitched, whiny singers with songs with no real content. But anyways, have at least some confidence in yourself. At least say you’re going to do something badass, and not just lie about who you are.

Still the same band? Bullshit. Remember Brent Wilson, that guy you kinda (allegedly) fucked over? Yeah, you see he was part of the band, now he isn’t, therefore the band isn’t the same, by fucking definition of the word ‘same.’ Look it up in the dictionary. You should be able to afford one.

Also, remember how you used to spell your own fucking name? You really don’t understand the meaning of the word ‘same.’ And did you guys even listen to it beforehand? Does it sound anything like you? No. It sounds like a bad rip off of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Band.

And busy spending time writing songs? Also bullshit. You started writing it in July 2007. You actually spent your time doing shows, making lots of money, and selling out. The writing of the music was just a very short time frame.

Then you get to their lyrical genius.

Clouds are marching along,
singing a song, just like they do.
If the clouds were singing a song,
I’d sing along, wouldn’t you too?

Hey, I know, let’s just completely contradict what I just said. That’ll surely make sense. Also, CLOUDS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.

Then there’s ‘Folkin’ Around.’ Apparently, everyone believes that this is the w0rst s0ng ev4r!!11!!2 I don’t think it’s the worst song, but it’s just that they tried to make it a serious song. Not serious as in it’s message or lyrics (they couldn’t do that), but the fact that it isn’t a bonus track or even an intermission song. If it was one of those, good. Half of the reason I listen to Asteria’s Slip Into Something A Little More Comfortable is because of the awesome (awesomely ridiculous) bonus track, and part of the reason I like Hot Rod Circuit’s The Underground Is A Dying Breed, since I was looking for that bonus track.

This could be really long with just me making fun of pretty much everything about this and them, but, you see, I’m lazy, fat and only eat french fries. Which may be true, but it definitely doesn’t change the quality of the album.

2 LOLs, 0 OMGz

Are you missing anything by never listening to it? No. Not at all.

4500 tickets in fifty-five minutes (75 USD). Have you ever desired a pony so badly that you would fight for it? I have. I can say all four of us have with great conviction.

I saw this Billboard article about four of Kelly Clarkson’s songs from her upcoming album being leaked. They really are just demo’s from what I understand. I only tried to find one (With A Little Bit of Luck). You can listen to it here: Song

It’s Brian’s birthday today too! HOOSAH