Gordon Post April 16, 2013

Filed under: Funzees — Adam @ 6:52 am

Gordon Ramsay must be a dinosaur because he keeps calling everything RAWR. heh





Now, I know what you’re thinking

Stop right there, Adam! Stop right there. You’re too…your jokes are too funny.

You’re right, little guy.

God dammit, you’re right.






Various Adventures April 10, 2013

Filed under: Movies — Adam @ 12:13 pm

I watched a few movies recently, on which I will elaborate after I impart upon you this important piece of advice:

Unless you want to watch your herb garden slowly choke under a ruthless minty-fresh reign, do not attempt to cultivate mint. It’s really easy to grow — too easy. Do you understand? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Every man knows that nurturing an herb garden is a god-given right, not a privilege, and it is your duty as a non-savage/barbarian citizen of this, our green and blue and yellow Earth to grow herbs god dammit. I implore you to throw caution to the wind, you glorious bird, and soar! Spread your ugly pigeon wings and fly! With herbs!


On to the movies. I saw two that I will speak on today. The first being “Fat Kid Rules The World”. I didn’t pay too much attention during the film, but from what I gather it involves Kurt Cobain and a rather rotund (heh hehe heh) kid and their zany adventures. I don’t know. I don’t think I’d watch it again. 3 OMG’s and four LOL’s, but it’s an almost-new movie and I think I cried during one scene.

The second movie was a horror film, the title of which escapes me. The Innkeepers maybe, I’m not all-in on that bet though. I thought it was funny at first, because I enjoyed the lead actress, but then it turned into a horror which upset me even though I knew it was a horror to begin with. I went through most of the movie thinking it wasn’t actually going to be a horror. Ugh. Ugh! Fuck! Right? Fuck! 1 OMG 2 LOL’s

I saw about eight samurai films too. Those kinds from the 50’s and 60’s that are black and white. So great. They’re like spaghetti westerns, but with swords. 8 OMGS, 7 LOL’s (’cause they’re not all humorous).






I recently went through my whole life not knowing what the word “effervescent” meant, and now that I know it essentially means “bubbly” I have to say I’m not terribly fond of it. Also, the grocery store smelled like feet yesterday. What?


Games, guys! Games! February 10, 2013

Filed under: Funzees — Adam @ 11:34 pm

Is there a market for twice-pickled pickles? Should be. The idea is very similar to twice-baked bread, except the driving theme involves pickling. Something to mull over!

I watched Roger (my asian friend) play some video games recently. Since I don’t have thumbs, or middle fingers, or index fingers, and I’m technically missing a pinkie, I just watched. It’s not creepy because I mainly watch the person playing, not the game, so it’s not like I’m just lounging around like a perv.

Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch

It’s for children, guys. I don’t know. I fell asleep a lot.

2 OMGS (I guess) and an LOL. They spelled “you’re” as “youer”. I don’t know if they were being eccentric or what. Is this my life now? Watching people play video games while I slip into a depression coma?




Gordon’s Great Escape! November 13, 2012

Filed under: OMGreviewsLOL — Adam @ 5:48 pm

This show is pretty Great (ha ha ha good job!).

Some things to consider while viewing:

1. No one appears to be a “stupid fat cow” in this series. It’s strange, but not off-putting.

2. Mr. Ramsay appears to participate in some cooking competition at the culmination of each episode, featuring etc. etc. etc.

3. I bought some new shirts recently. I understand they’re called “tunics”, but I didn’t read that anywhere.

4. Apparently Tuesdays are best for purchasing men’s clothing deal-wise. Thanks CNN! You’re welcome, Adam!

5. I’ve become sick. Cold maybe? I’m not sure. I sneeze often.


I actually found all of the episodes on YouTube. They run about forty-five minutes long, save the pilot which runs for about an hour. Season one Gordon travels India in search of curries. He finds that Indian food in England is terrible compared to genuine Indian food.  I’ll watch him do most anything (heh heh heh gross), but I was really entertained when he harnessed the power of a mighty cow to blaze around a flooded rice paddy. He takes off his shirt, revealing that he does indeed possess a human torso (I had my doubts), and gets in the ankle deep water. Step two: he grabs a harness/plow contraption and gets pulled around going really fast (not really) by two bulls. And hes holding one of their tails! WATCH THIS. WATCH ALL OF IT. IT’S VERY CONFUSING/BORING. Gordon calls ’em bullocks though. Which isn’t bizarre in itself, but I don’t call them bullocks.

In the next season he goes to southeast asia AND HE EATS A TARANTULA. JUST EATS IT FRIED. You get some interesting culinary information, I’m sure, but I’m not taking notes or anything. Look at Gordon Ramsay do things and talk with natives. “Mmmm” “Mmmm” he says that a lot when he likes what he’s eating, for instance. “That’s fucking delicious”. That too. I’m so sick. I need tissues all the time and they’ve become a precious commodity. Such a nuisance. I had to use spell check for that word over there. That “nuisance” word. I no kno wurds gooood n e more albalkdsflkd bsldkjf fdfewsdew



It looks like he’s trying to not make eye contact with the camera lens, doesn’t it? But only a little bit, because he’s not too into it. And it looks like he’s trying to unsuccessfully hide whatever he’s eating. But again, he’s not that into it either. ‘Cause I can see your food, Gordon. I can still see your food.

2 OMG’s, 3 LOL’s



Day 4,

The cold has abated. I can breathe again, mostly. I no longer suffer from the incessant “sneeze-fit”. My sinus doth not protest every waking moment. Also, I am allergic to my pomegranate body wash, because fuck me.


Banana, etc. October 3, 2012

Filed under: Funzees — Adam @ 4:20 am

I actually edited this a lot, and this is what’s happened:


This banana tastes like your face looks.


Perfect? Yes, and I’ll tell you why: Is it a butchered compliment? A clumsy insult? It doesn’t matter, because all that really matters is what the person you’re saying it to thinks about what you think bananas taste like. Telepathy. I’m pro telepathy.

Preparing Dried Beans September 29, 2012

Filed under: Funzees — Adam @ 3:36 pm

I recently came across four pounds of dried pinto beans, and being the Scientist that I am, I used Science and stuff to learn how to prepare (cook) them. I used this complex method which involves accessing the Google search function, and I typed in “how to prepare dried pinto beans”.

This article came up:

Interestingly enough OH MY GOD IM SO BORING


A Joke (2012) September 28, 2012

Filed under: Funzees — Adam @ 11:15 am

It goes something like this

Person 1: Do you know who I yam?

Person 2: Potato?

I’m not done with it yet

Jericho (2006) August 29, 2012

Filed under: OMGreviewsLOL — Adam @ 2:41 am

Witty, book-smart, recluse Jeri Cho decides to move to New York City so she can pursue her dream of becoming a psychiatrist for former librarians. While there, she learns New York City life isn’t as easy as she thought! In the pilot episode, Jeri Cho’s roommate convinces her to sing for his U2/Tupac tribute band, U2Pac, in order to woo the dream man from across the hall she never knew she wanted all along. Oh, Jeri! SHENANIGANS!

**Edit: I have now seen this show, and surprisingly it is nothing like this


I had to google “smart asian woman” for this.

Avocado (2012) August 1, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Adam @ 11:25 am


They were going bad. I had to fucking eat them. And then they betray me.


Some avocado facts:

1. They aren’t spelled “avacado”

2. They’re evil

3. I have avocado all over my keyboard now

Bug Wars July 20, 2012

Filed under: Funzees — Adam @ 7:27 pm

So I found this:

It’s….it’s great. It’s about bugs fighting. I know, I know.

You: Why didn’t this happen sooner, Adam?!


And they take it pretty seriously too (As they should, right? Right?). There was a post recently by one of the three thousand people subscribed about recent subject matter. To paraphrase, he wanted more quality fighting (As in ants vs. termites) not bugs just catching meals (as in spider vs. moth). Yeah.

Needless to say, while clearly wasting my time, I managed to find something truly amazing. Enjoy that. Enjoy the fuck out of that.

3000000 OMG’s 9000000 LOL’s


Also, if you google “define: gigabyte” click the audio pronunciation, and prepare to fall in love.





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