Dear diary, I have just begun my search for pants — pinstriped pants. I have located a pair of pant-legs that suit my needs, howEVER the cost is ATROCIOUS. Chad and Jody assure me (assure, I say!) that this is NORMAL. To find this STRANGE fact out has indeed shocked my good PURE senses and I am dreadfully afraid of what the world now has to offer my naive and SIMPLE soul. Dear Diary, what do you suggest I do? Please reply with the UTMOST speed.

Sincerely,

Your Love,

Adam

xoxo,

gossip girl